Aaaaaaaaaand we’re back to Exceptional Success Tip #4 this week! How are your weekly goals coming? Have you tried something new in the past week to develop and work on? Are you making progress for an awesome March? Or maybe March Madness has taken over your life? HA
This EST is one of my FAVORITE things to talk and write about so I’ll do my best to keep it from being 10 pages long! This is the SEMI FINAL, second to last, almost complete, EST as we are only doing these on Wednesdays in March
You’ve probably heard the story of the good ol’ stranger pitching in to help the homeowner move an appliance through their doorway and after struggling, forcing and not getting anywhere the frustrated stranger exclaimed, “Boy, it’s going to take a while to help you move this inside”, to which the homeowner replied, “In? I’m trying to move it out of here!”
Communication is everything.
It’s so important that I’m dedicating this entire Exceptional Success Tip to helping you learn and hone your skills and become an Exceptional Communicator.
I hope you make time to not only read this, but also OWN the EST this week!
Before we move onto EST #4 I wanted to share some AWESOME news with you.
Jeremy Jones of Jones Media Publishing had me as a guest on his Podcast, Ideas that make an IMPACT and it was published last night!
I cover a variety of topics and would love to know how I did. We also did it over video and I super appreciated it because it allowed me to read his lips and do a little (a lot) better than just a regular phone or web conversation. Enjoy and Thanks Jeremy!
For me to be successful in my own communication it actually takes quite a bit of work…
I have to watch for cues, facial expressions (the way someone’s nose moves or ears move when they talk is actually pretty neat to be honest), eye movements and how they use their (sometimes hot) air, form their words with their lips and create a voice driven word into a sentence. This takes A LOT of brain work for me but luckily, I’ve had training and with the help of solid hearing aids I can make out about 85% or so of what everyone communicates. I’ve been able to put it all together and now seems quite normal and can have normal and fluid conversations. It’s quite interesting, actually fascinating, but a majority of people say many of the same things the same way!
I’ve been fascinated with Communication ever since I started to learn and understand verbal communication, reading lips and watching people’s body language. It’s basically how I survive and perform on a daily basis. Over the years, as I’ve developed and become better and better with my own communication, I’ve had numerous people share with me how just by talking with me, their own communication has improved for the better – awesome! So here’s some additional ways to help you get to the Exceptional Level in your communication.
Exceptional Success Tip #4 – Become a Transformational Communicator
What is Transformational Communication? This level of communication is one that you embody, own and utilize to TRANSFORM yourself and those around you into higher levels of connection and alignment.
None of us are absolutely perfect communicators, I’m certainly not. I’m STILL learning new words, ways to speak and improvements to my listening ability (even though I can’t hear) by paying attention and becoming more aware of my surroundings and environments.
Here’s some ways to develop yourself into a better, more exceptional Transformational Communicator!
Pay attention!…to everything, and everyone.
When we normally pay for something, we pay with an exchange of goods. Money or barter is the typical way to “pay” for something in return. Now I want you to think in terms of paying someone (and your surroundings) – with your attention – get it, Pay Attention! Your attention is one of the most widely available and unlimited resources you have at your disposal. Whenever possible, PAY everyone and your surroundings with the gift your undivided attention, especially those that are closest to you!
Take some time to be as still or quiet as possible in a busy environment and have a conversation/commentary with yourself about everything that is happening around you. For example, start the commentary with yourself like this – “Ok there’s a (youngish) man walking his dog down the street, wearing black shorts, a scarlet and grey shirt and using an orange leash. The dog looks to be a friendly yellow lab, very well trained, and seems to be explicitly happy walking next to its owner, etc.” What this does is two things: 1) It trains your brain to become acutely aware of your surroundings and it’s creates an Awareness Dialogue with yourself. 2) This elevates your thinking patterns and helps you become more aware of your environment and what people are doing around you. It’s fun, give it a go!
Get over your fear of asking.
It’s completely OK to ask questions, regardless if they are silly or even straightforward. I always tell my students, the more you ask and participate in class, the more points you get! It’s a reverse psychology of sorts but some of us were raised not to ask questions or for clarification. We just nod our head (remaining clueless) and figure it out later. We’ve been taught that asking means we are dumb or should’ve figured it out already. Look – I’ve probably asked at least 20 questions as of this writing to you reading it, (mostly to my wife probably) because I’m just super curious and wanting to get clarification and sense of everything. I’m thankful that I was taught A.I.A. – Asking Is Awesome! On the other hand, this doesn’t mean you need to raise your hand every 5 minutes in a group setting, however any questions that pop up – write them down, keep paying attention and if it’s not answered then go ahead and ask away. I’m often finding myself tapping someone next to me and asking “Has someone asked this question yet?” to make sure I’m not being redundant because there’s a large chance I’m not able to hear everyone’s questions in a group setting.
Acknowledge, then ZIP IT!
The human brain processes 400-500 words per minute while humans can only speak about 125 words per minute. This leaves tons of room to think of what to say next or to beat the other person to the punch and finish their sentence or even interrupt them. Once your receiver has been acknowledged, be sure to keep it shut and let people finish – ZIP IT! I’m guilty of this at times of course but thankfully not as often because I need to focus completely on the person (which is my blessing in disguise). Once you’ve zipped it, use your ears and mouth proportionally. Some people communicate with 5 mouths and 1 ear if you know what I mean!
If you’re busy doing something and someone approaches, acknowledge their presence with a smile (or put the phone down for a minute), and share that you acknowledge them and finish your task at hand, and then PAY them with your undivided attention. It’s tough to do at times I know. Look at your receiver (who’s also a human like you) in the eyes, smile if necessary and express the appropriate body language that says you’re with them and understanding. Crossing the arms and legs shows you’re closed off and not open. Keep the body open and receiving to what’s being shared.
Lastly – do your absolute BEST to reply and acknowledge every electronic communication and phone call. Even if it’s a simple – “Ok, got it” or a “thank you” or even a “I received your email and will get back to you shortly”, people DO appreciate it. You are never wrong or a bother for having excellent communication!
These are just a FEW small ways to help elevate you into a Transformational Communicator.
If you’re looking to reach new levels of success, Communication needs to be one of your highest priorities. It needs to be your ally and top of the list skill set that becomes one of your greatest attributes.
Have a great rest of your week! Next week is our FINAL Exceptional Success Tip